A House by the Sea (I Remember, Benj)

This isn't just about a house by the sea. Nor is it just about good memories of it.

This is about a friendship and not with one person but with a whole family. I haven't seen or heard from anyone of them lately but it doesn't matter. I know where to find them and I know all I have to do is show up at their door. I know I will be let in and welcomed just like so many times before. And I would say goodbye as I leave again and we would live our lives like we did not need each other.

I'm not writing about a church or a place of refuge but the places they chose to live their ordinary days as well as those not so - their place in the city and their place by the sea - could very well be. I haven't been to either but I know they are still there.
And they always will be - until I lose my memory.

I won't mention any names except the one in the title of this post.

It started as most things do, without incident. I was in college and a friend just casually introduced me to one of the sons of a former senator, one with unsullied reputation, which is why he probably lost the last time he ran and he left it at that. I'm glad he did. I'm sure he did too.

The senator's son bumped into me sometime later and made a casual comment about how I dressed then, pretty much the way I still do, stylish rather than faddish. A conversation led to an invitation for dinner at their place where I met the senator's wife and a couple of my soon to be friend's other siblings. Nothing extraordnary really except that I got to know the rest of the family and got to be friends with most of them eventually.

Okay you get the idea - a friendship started and, in spite of some usual "unfriendly" incidents, continues. We finished college and joined the rat race. I found myself having dinner with them at least once a week. At least once a week, cause one of the siblings would ask me to. I shared confidences, as well as joys and pains, not only with my friend but his other siblings as well, even his mom. We would find out what was going on with whom and know that whatever we talked about would not be spoken of elsewhere.

So, the family had a place by the sea, four hours north of their place in the city. I had seen it before I even knew them. A high school classmate had a place very close to it. And yes I got invited not just once and not by just my friend but by almost everyone in their family. And it was always so good to spend the weekend, and even ordinary days, getting away from the day to day trivialities.

It was their place to get away to and to recharge and it became mine as well.
All I had to do was ask and I was NEVER turned down. Whenever I needed to get away from the demands of a crazy work week, or just wanted to get away. All I had to do was ask or show up and I had a room or ithe caretaker would indeed take care of me. Okay, I know what you're probably thinking - freeloader. It happened once - my friend felt bad I was spending too much time with his siblings and next thing I know his siblings got wind of what he had told his mom and they stood up for me. And yes, we're still friends.

And I just remembered it today. I always remember it whenever I have moments - Moments of joy, moments of unease (as against disease, dis-ease), moments I wish I were somewhere else doing something else. And, yes, being with some other person or people. Yes, I have those moments and when they do come I think about the beach in Caba and the house by it. I had my moments, good and bad, in it. But ALL of them matter and make sense when everything seems senseless some moments, some days.

It would have gone on and on had I not decided to take up an overseas job offer. I just had to spend time there days before I left. I had to say goodbye to the youngest sibling, Benj, who was then spending time there. I will not forget that weekend.

The family knew I was leaving and knew I wanted to spend the weekend there. I had told Benj about the job earlier but not about my accepting it. So I just had to go and tell him. He knew I was leaving but didn't know I was coming to say goodbye.

I arrived late in the day and the caretaker got him for me. I waited on the beach, watching the sunset, standing with a wistful look on the horizon. Then I heard him - "There's only one person I know who can stand that way, anywhere and I'll know it's him." Then a tight hug. And the weekend just flew by, the two of us and an afternoon with one of his fishermen friends making me want to stay. He voiced his concern that I would not come back. I did. And I always return to the same place by the sea, even after some of the people I spent time with there have passed on.

I remember, Benj. I haven't forgotten, never will.
I know you know. I know your dad and your sister knew.
I have my memories. I know the house in the city and the house by the sea are still there, not just housing people but memories as well. And I know both houses have gone through changes over time. Just like we had our own changes and additions (and Losses) in our lives.

And we could always go back to the sea and the house by it, not only in times we want to.
I will come back and I know you will be there, no questions asked, just like the sea.
All I have to do is show up.