Unread Eulogy

My mother passed away Sunday, January 11.
She was 78, was married and loved her husband for 58 years.
The marriage was blessed with 5 children and the usual other stuff which come with a family of differing leanings. In spite of it all, the bottom line, the glue which held it together and sustained it at the end of the day was something invisible but came out when it was needed most - Love.
And I am not saying it with sentimentality. If you could read, you should be able to figure it out.

Anyway, a couple of my siblings had told me, as they were making funeral arrangements, that I would be assigned the task of eulogizing my mom if it came up. I was not worried about the eulogy, I was worried about how if I would be able to do it without breaking down. Luckily, I did not have to.

So here is most of what I had written (with a little help from a colleague at work).

First of all, I THANK EVERY ONE who came and helped us out in our time of loss and mourning, including all who called or e-mailed their thoughts and concern.


This is a sad day for our family and for the people who held my mother dear to them, including her siblings and the friends she made and kept close to her heart if they could not be physically close to her as well as other people she came into contact with and got to know her.

Some of you here today have only come to know my mom through us - that is my dad, myself and my siblings. I wish you had come to know her as we and our relatives and the friends she made had known her. You would have been able to enjoy her cooking and her little tidbits on food and life which she was lucky enough to have learned and shared through her 78 years.

I am sure you will remember the good moments you shared with my mom as I am about to share with you some things you may have known (or not) about her and the family she loved and shared her life with.

Let me start with my dad whom she married when she was just 20 and he was 21. Their marriage had its share of ups and downs just like most marriages but I think the 58 years they were together shows that they had more ups than downs. And their union was blessed with 5 children whom I hope brought them the family they hoped for.

My mom's passion for cooking my sister Josephine has picked up on. She has as well picked up my mom's need to keep her home spotlessly clean, specially the bathrooms and the kitchen.

And my mom's love for shopping my sister Jocelyn ishared and indulged her in, even bringing my mom out on a cold winter's day to the mall because my mom felt cooped up at home one time.

My mom liked the way my sister Rosana, whom my parents named after my grandmother Rosa, as she bore a close resemblance to her, could come up with tasty meals cooked on a moments notice. My mom also liked that Rona always had something for eveyone she cared about even if she didn't have enough for herself.

Her desire for higher education, she lived vicariously through my sister Ana Lisa. She also admired Lisa's fashion sense and liked her for her fairness and generosity.

My mom influenced my sisters' ways of dressing but in her later years she picked up trends and advice from them.

I think by now you are wondering what I'm going to say about myself. I will let this eulogy say it for me. I will tell you this - my siblings just like my parents have always looked out for me. sometimes, my siblings act more like my parents. I want you and them to know that I appreciate it even if some times I seem to prove otherwise. Just like my mom and dad, they are irreplaceable.

Allow me to share with you something about me and my mom. She rarely scolded me or my siblings and it was usually about school work or our prayers or our grooming when we were growing up. My mom was all love and Dad, I'm sorry I have to admit this but I felt worse on those rare occasions that mama would give me a scolding than those times you used the harshest words on me. Dad, I won't forget that you taught me not to forget the bad, the sad things and times we encounter so that they would guide me in making decisions. I won't forget. And neither will I forget Mama, her love for me, for us all. She will always be with me, with us until that day when we are called to join her.

Lastly, I want :
1) my nephews and nieces to know that my mom has always loved them as much as she loved their parents;
2) my mom's aunt, siblings, and nephews and nieces that they were always in my mom's thoughts and prayers.

This may be a sad moment for us all but I would rather you remember it as a happy moment as well. Sad because we are losing a loved one and happy for the life we were allowed to share with her. I am sure my mother was happy that as she was being called away her husband and children were with her in her final moments. I am sure she is happily watching us as we gather to say goodbye to her or rather her earthly life, a life in which she gave her love and her best to all of us.