An Answered Prayer

I pray. I ask for things I want.
I pray for things I want.
I don't always get what I want.
Sometimes when I do, it takes a while.
And over time, I get to see why I do not always get what I pray for.

Anyway, there have been times when I have voiced my disappointment over unanswered prayers.
The first time I did, I walked out into a brightly lit night - by the moon. It was bright enough that I was able to see the backyard clearly. It was Someone's way of getting back to me on one of my prayers. Point taken !

The second time, and subsequently, I would get an answer through a penny.
Yes, a penny.
 I would, and still do, come across a penny and I would find it lying on the side where I could read the words "In God We Trust" engraved on it. That is a clear enough message to me about having a little faith that I will be getting an answer in time.

Shared these thoughts with a lady today. Gave her a penny and told her that I hope it would bring her luck.

Then I told her the story above.
She then told me that I had just answered a question she has asked for some time now after her husband passed away years ago. She's always told the Guy up there that she missed her husband and hoped he was fine. And then she would come across a penny, just like me.
It made sense to her now.  Her questions were being answered thru the pennies but she never made the connection. Until today. Until I told her my story.

I answered someone's prayer. I was used to pass on the answer.

dad

We all want the best and I know he tries to be the best, if not for himself, then for all the people he thought he had to impress.

He has never been perfect, as all of us are likewise not.

Deep inside I know he tried and tries.

But we are always judged as we are wont to judge.

All I can say about and what I will always remember about him is that he had and always has been around for me when I needed him most.

And I know he will be.

And no matter how bad I had been or how bad some of my choices in friends or in some of my decisions have been, no matter how rocky or how tenuous our relationship sometimes have been, he was always, has always been there when I turned to him for advice and/or help.

Isn't that what fathers are for ?

Just want you to know that in spite of whatever obvious differences and disagreements we have had, you have fulfilled your obligations as a father or what a child would expect from a father.

your last day

I was bothered by some thing this morning then got to think of an office friend.
Called her and she got my vibe and said "if something's bothering you, think of today as the last day of your life then see how you would deal with what's bothering you".

I did as she said and soon after I was in tears.
Yes, I cried.

I remembered my mom and the last conscious day of her life.
It was Christmas night 2008.
She had a fatal stroke after dinner.

Let me go back a bit.
A few days before Christmas I called and asked her what she wanted for a gift.
Told me a tube of toothpaste would be fine.
Yes, I was surprised. I asked her to think about it.
She told me she could not think of anything and that a specific brand of toothpaste would do just fine.
I asked her again.
Then she said "I would be happy just to see you and be with you on Christmas".

Truth was I did not feel like making it to the Christams dinner my sisters had planned.
That's another story for another day.
I found myself with my mom and my sisters that night.

And I think my mom was happy but tired as she had been cooking that day.
But I think she was happy and I did get to be with her.
And I still have the tube of toothpaste she asked for.

Today could have been the last day of my life and yes, my day turned out to be a better day.

you're cool, rob lowe

I was at a Borders bookstore this morning when I noticed someone walking my way.
I took a glance at the same time he took a glance at me and we exchanged smiles.
Then I realized I knew him, not personally, so I just blurted "I know you !"
He glanced back at me with a smile and a thumbs up sign.
The look and the smile he gave me came with an unspoken acknowledgment and message : "don't give me away".
And I guess the smile I flashed back told him his secret was safe with me.

It all happened in less than a minute and yet so much was said in those few moments.

you're cool, rob lowe !

yes, I like you too.

IF NOT NOW . . .

If today is
not the right time to do
what you
have the opportunity to do something
you've long thought of doing,
then When ?

If today is not the day to take that first step,
then When ?

If today is not the day, then When ?

The next time
you may be thinking of doing something,
it might be thoughts of opportunities lost or
worse,
of not being able to do anything about it.

If not now, WHEN ?

THE BEST

Once you find the best, you just can not go back, go back to what you once thought was, the best.

And there's no going back, only moving forward, only constantly on the look out for the best.
Some times you do it on your own. Some times a friend takes you by the hand.
And with eyes open, ears perked up or taste buds waiting for the next flavor to announce itself on your tongue, you just can not wait for the next one.

The best - found a lot of them in the people I meet and get to keep as friends.
Found them in the food I ingest, in the clothes I decide to wrap myself in and in the sound system which could be among the most expensive purchases you make.
And people think you're a bit crazy or ridiculous to go with it.
I say you only live once and don't you think you deserve the best.
Otherwise, why ?

Yes, Ihave been lucky to have found some of the best and at times I have been the best, and it's not about bragging, just knowing.
But I am still evolving and still trying to be my best.

This is not about me.
It is also about you and you know you also have your bests.
I can only try to be the best and at times I will be.
And other times, you will be or you will find your bests.
Or think you have.
As I have. (As I have been asked once in a while why I know.)

wish i had met you then too

met someone at a bookstore this afternoon and it's only now at the close of another day that i got to appreciate what he said as he was leaving - i wish i had met you then.

i don't want to make it about me but about how we affect other people or how people perceive us through what we tell them or the thoughts we share with them.

okay, i'll admit that it made me feel good.
but not at the moment that he said it.
just tonight and it could not have come at a better time.
cause i had a not so good week and what he said just made me accept the bad with the good things which also happened in the same week.

and if only one person gets to read this post, i know she would understand what this is all about. for she is in my life right now for whatever reasons we need to be together - not only for myself but also for herself.

i will backtrack a bit about why this person i spent a very short time at the bookstore made me do this post. he had asked me to recommend a book he could give a friend as a gift for graduation. he said he wanted a book which was somewhat "deep" but not that difficult to read.
so i told him about just one book, and yes, it's currently being read by this girl in my life right now. and without asking for a second one he decided to buy it.

does it make sense now that i would decide to do this post ?

how many people would take our word without even knowing us ?
then again maybe i did make an impression on him ?
but consider this - we got to know just a bit more about each other after he had paid for the book.
and as he was leaving he blurted out how he wished he had known me when i was living in the place he's going back to (and where he would be living cause he's from there).

thank you, bandar. wish i had met you then too. but your saying it has made me appreciate the past week's bad and good moments.


and, yes, i got to see the last few moments of "lost" and just enough to know what it was all about.